& i hope one day i can show you how i collected every star from the sky and kept them in my garden of doubt. I planted them in my soil and watered it with my tears, i grew wishes that would never come true. That is all until you came. & now those wishes are shooting off like fireworks and i'm pressed hard against the stone walls in utter amazement.

I treasure our conversations and count myself lucky to have your love. You tell me you hallucinate about me and that you got drunk with Karen O the other night. How last night you were going on a sacavanger hunt for Conor Oberst. How cute i thought it would be for you to make out with him, baby i know it's not your scene.

& i try so hard to keep those bad dreams at bay. The ones where i fail you and kill you all in the same moment. Where you tell me you don't love me and that i'll always be sleeping with that ghost of my long lost lover. I know better than to think of him as anything real anymore. He's dead and i just make up excuses.

You've become my one and only papercut. My one and only. You are not my pain and even when we fight i can't imagine anyone else i'd rather fight for. It's always you. When i dream our dreams you know i'm always wearing that polo shirt that kind of looks like yours. My hair is messy and my lips are cracked. But you love me for all of that. And you, you're always wearing that outfitthat jared leto wears in requiem. You have messier hair than me and you have a cigarette in your mouth.

But baby, i'm scared. I'm scared that we might just rip each other apart just to see if our hearts are really true. If they really say I love you. & if forever is just until something better comes along. But i dodn't think that there is anyone better.